Complacency

In the midst of all these worksheets, essays, reading assignments, I'm afraid I'll get caught up in it all and lose sight of the real goal, the true reason I am here. It was different, sitting at my desk in my room at home, my mother my teacher. Then, learning was the end of every effort, the desire behind every task. It's different, here in college. Learning is still important, still desired and required, but there are more distractions, more details that get in the way. How easy it is to focus on passing the quiz instead of understanding the novel or to be content with a good grade on an essay and not seek knowledge beyond that. It is convenient, very convenient, to do the work, write the essays, pass the tests, fill out the worksheets, read the books, and end it there. There is more available, greater understanding and learning is achievable, but it's not required. If it's not written in the syllabus, why bother? That is the question of the day, but the answer I cannot quite put into words. Something inside of me whispers that going to class and answering the questions is not enough. Asking questions, too, and delving beyond the questions into deep caverns of unknown is just as necessary, just as important. This is my struggle: this fight between being content to fulfill requirements or going beyond that and exploring more, between doing just enough or following that ardent desire to learn really and truly. Focusing, refocusing, and focusing again is what I need to keep from tripping over that endless cycle of homework assignments, losing sight of the reason behind them.